There’s an expression you’ve probably heard more than once over the years: People learn the most from their mistakes. It’s an assumption widely internalized among the leaders we meet at our programs and it often ends up guiding the way of developing direct reports. I have even experienced a number of times where leaders argues that “we must make room for making mistakes, otherwise we never develop.” I believe making room for mistakes is a good idea. But is that really the only way to go about it? Or could there be a different approach that’s equally or even more effective?

My perspective would be that people can learn as much from their successes as they can from their mistakes.

Reflection is the key in this context

In order to explore this further we need to consider a crucial question: how do people learn? If you think about it, many people make plenty of mistakes and never learn a single lesson from them while others excel at contemplating their errors, thus improving significantly over time. Why is that?

The answer is simple: You don’t learn anything just because you make a mistake. Learning is a mental reflection process. You can learn from a mistake if, after having made it, you ask yourself some simple questions: What went wrong? What caused the mistake? What could I have done differently? Etc.

Using this brief reflection process every time you make a mistake will increase your chances of being more successful next time.

But, then, how do you learn from your successes? The answer is: you use the same method. Let’s take a look at a real-life example.

Case examples

We have a client who is engaged in large-scale engineering, procurement, and construction (EPC) projects. When responding to a request for proposal the client will typically invest several months of work in preparing the proposal without recovering these costs.

If the client fails to win the contract, the entire project team will meet for at least one day to discuss why it didn’t win the contract, what it could have done differently, and how it would approach things next time.

What do you think the client will do when winning a contract? Celebrate and launch production?

Yes, plus the entire project team will meet for at least one day to discuss:

Why were we selected for this project in the first place?
What specifically put us in front of our competitors?
How do we ensure that we build on these strengths in future similar projects?
Is there anything we could have done even better?
Can we apply the factors that made our company stand out from the competition on a broader scale to other situations?

This type of reflection allows the client to shed light on what went right and then use positive reinforcement.

“Yes, this may apply to a major project, but it’s far away from my everyday reality,” you may say. Fair enough, so let’s take a look at a simpler example.

Another client has identified a need to improve its meeting culture across the organization. Instead of rolling out a general training program in “best practices for meetings” the client chooses to apply a few simple principles of continuous improvement. One is to introduce a rule that all meetings should end two minutes earlier than scheduled. This time should then be used to briefly discuss two key questions: “What is the one thing we did right at this meeting and should do again at our next one?” And “what is the one thing we should avoid doing at our next meeting?” This approach shows that this is an organization that believes you should learn equally from what went well and from what didn’t.

Here’s another example. This one is from everyday life: Three months ago, you moved into a new place. One day you realize that you forgot where you put your keys. Having to look for them is frustrating and causes you to think about what you should have done to prevent this: I’m sure that due to this reflection you won’t misplace your keys again for some time. But did you ever think about stopping up maybe one months after moving in to the apartment and ask yourself: “Wow, I have not forgotten my key the past month. What is it I am doing not to misplace my key? What helps me remember where I put my key?” Had you done this, you may not have been without your key two months later….

The truth is: We can learn from mistakes and we can learn from successes.

“We have a strong culture of negative feedback. We’re always told when we do something wrong.”

In the light of the above examples, the question is: why has the idea that People learn the most from their mistakes become such an ingrained belief shared by so many people?

The answer is fairly simple!

In everyday life, people never fail to tell us what went wrong. In everyday life, mistakes are often quite visible. Mistakes simply “attract attention” and “call for action.” If, throughout your life, you’ve become used to mainly getting feedback on mistakes or only have follow-up meetings when things go wrong then it’s clear that you’ll mainly learn from your mistakes. It just doesn’t have to be like that.

As leaders, we need to look at both mistakes and successes as learning opportunities.

Positive reinforcement has, for decades, been acknowledged as a powerful learning method. Positive reinforcement is when you point at something that people do right in order to ensure that they know that they’re doing it right. Too often, though, leaders tend to focus on things that haven’t been done right and, consequently, miss out on many opportunities for learning.

And, by the way, how would you respond to someone approaching you about one of your successes? Would you switch to “defense mode” coming up with explanations for your success beyond your own control? Or, would you smile, feel warm inside and exited to continue the conversation? I guess the latter would be the case. By contrast, the first response would be more likely if you were approached about a mistake. People, in general, are a lot more open and less defensive when we discuss their successes. And an open and explorative mindset strengthens a learning process compared to a defensive explanatory mindset. So, you may learn even more from a success than from a mistake.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give any feedback on things people do wrong. What I’m arguing is that people can learn as much from successes as they can from mistakes, provided that you always follow up with the all-important reflection process.

Next steps for you

So, if you’re leading a team or department, I’d like to ask you: when was the last time you gave an employee feedback in a structured way on something they did right?

Tomorrow, could you identify just one person who is successful in a particular thing they do? Give them feedback on this and encourage them to reflect on their success.

I guarantee that they’ll enjoy the conversation, be positive, learn and continue to improve.

Good luck with this and don’t forget where you put your key….

Are you sure that people learn most from their mistakes?

Reflection is the key in this context

Case examples

“We have a strong culture of negative feedback. We’re always told when we do something wrong.”

Next steps for you